Therapy for Adult Children of Immigrants in Toronto and Calgary
Culturally responsive therapy with an Asian, Vietnamese Canadian therapist who has lived in both cultures
I was born and raised in Vietnam and moved to Canada in high school, so I know what it's like to grow up between two cultures. Sessions are available in English or Vietnamese.
As a child of immigrant parents, you're carrying a lot, and it's more than just a full plate:
- You're hard on yourself, likely a perfectionist, and constantly push yourself to do and achieve more, even though you're exhausted.
- You're caught between cultures, where you don't feel "Canadian enough" but you also don't feel fully "enough" in your heritage culture.
- You struggle to make decisions that prioritize what's important to you. Pursuing things like your career, partner, or parenting style, especially when you know your parents won't approve, seems selfish and brings up a huge sense of guilt in you.
- Setting boundaries with your parents feels impossible. You feel hurt and dismissed when they gloss over what matters to you, and yet, you also feel bad enforcing limits, because you were taught you "owe" them for their sacrifices and that not upsetting them is the least you can do.
- You're doing your best to break generational patterns in your relationships, with friends, partners, or your own children, but when you're mad, sad, or overwhelmed, you still find yourself:
- Shutting down
- Being avoidant and distant
- Getting explosive
- People pleasing
You're far from the only one. In studies of Asian and Latino children of immigrants, more conflict with parents over cultural values went along with poorer mental health, and the link was stronger in young adults than in teens.1
How Therapy Can Help
- Explore and integrate your dual cultural identity in a way that feels authentic and empowering.
- Heal from intergenerational and cultural trauma, including the emotional weight of family sacrifice and unspoken expectations.
- Reduce guilt and shame around setting boundaries, making independent choices, or prioritizing your own needs.
- Navigate the tension between family loyalty and personal autonomy with greater clarity and self-compassion.
- Improve communication and emotional well-being in relationships with parents, partners, and your own children.
- Develop practical coping tools for anxiety, depression, perfectionism, people pleasing, shutting down, avoidance, and the stress of "living in between" cultures.
- Feel truly seen and understood by a culturally responsive therapist who honors your background and experiences.
Is it normal to feel guilty setting boundaries with immigrant parents?
Yes. Many adult children of immigrants carry strong family-first values and feel guilt when prioritizing their own needs. In therapy, we work on reducing guilt and building compassionate, values-aligned boundaries.
Can therapy help me feel "enough" in both cultures?
Absolutely. We explore identity, internalized expectations, and belonging so you can integrate your cultural identities in a way that feels authentic and stable.
What approaches do you use for intergenerational stress?
I draw from evidence-based approaches including Internal Family Systems (IFS), Coherence Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and EMDR. I use culturally responsive, attachment-focused work to address guilt, shame, and conflict patterns. This includes exploring how family dynamics and cultural expectations have shaped your responses, helping you develop healthier communication strategies, and supporting you in creating boundaries that honor both your values and your family relationships.
In person in Calgary. Online across AB, BC, ON, MB, SK and NL.
Sources
- Lui, P. P. (2015). Intergenerational cultural conflict, mental health, and educational outcomes among Asian and Latino/a Americans: Qualitative and meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 141(2), 404–446. doi.org/10.1037/a0038449